Wednesday, May 22nd

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Parenting

The Secret to a Great College Essay

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SamHersheyThis year, for the second time in my ten-year career as a college essay advisor, one of my students not only got into his top-choice school but also received a letter from the admissions committee specifically complimenting the strength of his essay. (This student received his letter from Tulane; my prior student received his letter from Yale.) These letters prove what college preparation companies all assert: the essay is among the top three factors in college admission, after GPA and SAT/ACT scores. Sadly, I will soon be leaving this line of work to begin my career in law, but before I depart, I would like to share the top three strategies I have developed that make a college essay worthy of a special letter from the admissions committee:

1) Hook the reader:

College admissions officers read dozens of essays every day, and hundreds of essays every week. If you don’t grab their attention within the first thirty seconds, you won’t grab it at all. Thus, without a good hook, a great essay may never receive the attention it deserves.

Last year’s essay that received the letter of praise started like this: “My favorite author, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., once wrote, ‘The most exquisite pleasure in the practice of medicine comes from nudging a layman back to safety again.’ If that is true, then the doctor who saved my life must surely have taken great pleasure in his work.” And with that hook, I knew that the great essay that followed would not go to waste.

2) Take a risk with your topic:

My students and I have written great essays together about their stuttering, their high school popularity, their tan skin, and their loneliness as over-achievers. In a world where too many students write about their successes and achievements, with my help, a student wrote a great essay about his disappointment in his high school debate career. And all of these students gained admission to top schools.

My experience proves the old saying that with greater risk comes greater reward. Admissions officers see countless essays touting the brilliance that is already apparent on paper. Why bore them with redundancy? A display of thoughtfulness, humor, and, above all, originality is a sure-fire way to make the essay count.

3) Use your own voice:

Too often I have seen a student’s natural, authentic-sounding prose stilted by a parent’s or an English teacher’s re-write. College admissions officers are not dummies: they know when an essay has been re-written by an adult. And when an essay sounds forged, it will lose all its points no matter how good it is.

For that reason, I always try to keep as much of my students’ natural voices present in the essay as possible. This effort always requires a continual, collaborative effort with the student, but the extra work that I put in pays dividends in the ring of the prose. There is nothing wrong with seeking help, but make sure that the help does not in fact hinder.

If you follow these three pieces of advice, you will be well on your way to a winning college essay. You may even receive a letter that says so!

Sam Hershey has worked as an SAT/ACT tutor and college essay adviser for over ten years. He holds a B.A. from the University of Pennsylvania and, as of last May, a J.D. from Columbia Law School. He will leave the world of tutoring in November to pursue his career in law but is available until then for tutoring and essay-writing assistance. He can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

 

 

Madoff Family Files Lawsuit In Hawaii

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tylermadoff1The family of Tyler Madoff has filed a wrongful death lawsuit in Hawaii in response to the loss of their son while he was on an adventure trip on the Big Island of Hawaii on July 4, 2012. Madoff, age 15, was exploring a tidal pool at Kealakekua Bay on the southwestern side of the island when he and another boy were swept out to sea by a large wave. Though the other boy was rescued by a boat, Tyler disappeared and his body has still not been recovered. Tyler, a White Plains resident, was a student at Scarsdale High School due to begin his junior year in September. His mother, Marianne Madoff, is an employee of the district and worked as the Teacher-in-Charge at the Heathcote Elementary School.

The family is represented by N.Y. Attorney Susan M. Karten and the 38 page complaint was filed in Honolulu on August 21, 2012. It names Bold Earth Adventures America’s Adventures, Abbott Wallis, Andrew Mork, Kelsey Tyler, Hawaii Pack and Paddle, Barry Mims, Nolan Keola Reed and Letitia Mims.

The lawsuit alleges the following:

The trip leader, Andrew Mork, age 22, had a criminal history and showed “questionable character, poor judgment and a lack of responsibility to perform guardianship duties.”

Hawaii Pack and Paddle, who lead the expedition that day did not have a permit to go to the area of the Napoopoo lighthouse where the incident occurred.

The guides deviated from their prescribed itinerary and took the group to the “shore area around the Napoopoo lighthouse,” “a treacherous and off limits area which consisted of jagged and crater filled lava rock terrain with violent surf pounding and churning the coastal area waters on July 4, 2012.”

“ This outrageously irresponsible decision lead to the death of Tyler” and the excursion was in “complete breach and violation of the State of Hawaii regulations.”

The guides ignored dangerous tide, wave and surf warnings and advisories posted on local, regional, state wide and national surf information sources.”

When Tyler was struck by the waves and carried away, Mork “failed to act according to his alleged training and watched Tyler being swept away.”

The suit does not specify in the amount of the damage. Karten says that “"This lawsuit will shine a light on how teen tour companies operate." The claim can be accessed here.

 

 

Scarsdale Teen Travel Camp Takes Teens on the Road

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teentravel1While some Scarsdale middle schoolers were away at camp this summer, others enjoyed a travel camp that provided the fun of sleepaway camp without actually leaving home. Now in its seventh summer, the Scarsdale Rec’s Teen Travel Camp takes middle schoolers on fun daily adventures to waterparks, amusement centers, baseball games, whitewater rafting and more. This year, the program included two sessions; one for two-weeks and another for three-weeks to accommodate everyone who wished to sign-up.

Scarsdale’s Sabrina Wirth and Tamara Chapro signed up for the three-week session and had a great summer. They enjoyed mixing it up with other kids going into sixth, seventh and eighth grades, and even liked the time on the air conditioned Coach bus getting to and from some wonderful places.

What’s the daily routines? The girls explained that they were given a schedule sheet that outlined the plans and let them know where they would go, what time they were leaving and what they should wear and bring each day. Among their favorite trips were the days at Six Flags, rock climbing, Mountain Creek Water Park for cliff jumping, the shark speed boat at the South Street Seaport and the movie tour of Manhattan where they saw where many famous films were shot.

The farthest they travelled was 2 ½ hours each way on the bus, but since movies were shown en-route, getting there and back was part of the fun.  The kids are even given lanyards to work on as they travel allowing them to multi-task.

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Tamara Chapro and SabrinaWirth had a blast at the Teen Travel Camp

Did anyone ever get lost we asked? Apparently not -- as campers wear special T-shirts and are assigned buddies. They are given plenty of freedom to roam but everyone seems to find their way back to the designated meeting place. The students were supervised by six counselors who kept the group moving and made it fun.

We spoke to Vicky Latouris who started the program seven years ago when she joined the Scarsdale Rec Department who told us that this year, both sessions for 40 campers were sold out. She said that other Westchester towns run similar programs though some include overnight stays as well. And when we asked if there was anything she wanted to add, she asked to give a shout out to the staff. She said, “I'm very proud of my staff. I have a great group of staff members that do a fabulous job each year. My Camp Director Lisa Zirolnik, who is a math teacher, EMT,and a lifeguard, has been with the camp since 2006. My counselors who are mostly teachers during the year are also certified in lifeguarding and most have been with us for a few years.

And this great team must be a big part of the reason that Sabrina has been participating in the program for three years and this year convinced her friend Tamara to join her. Learn more about the Teen Travel Program here:

 

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Teen Travel Group Photo Courtesy of the Rec Department

 

 

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Campers wore blue T-shirts so that they could easily identified

 

Local Teens Participate in 2012 JCC Maccabi Games

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maccabigames2012While many in Scarsdale are plastered to their televisions watching the Olympics in London, 82 local athletes are participating in the 2012 JCC Maccabi games in Memphis, Houston and Rockland. This is the 30th year of the games, which is the largest gathering of Jewish teens in North America. Almost 3,500 Jewish teens from all over the U.S., Canada, Israel, Mexico, Panama, Venezuela, and Great Britain will share in the fun of competing and the pride of being part of a world-famous Olympic-style event filled with Jewish content and values.

The three locations and dates are as follows:

  • Houston, Texas (August 5-10)
  • Memphis, Tennessee (August 5-10)
  • Rockland County, New York (August 12-17)

This summer, the JCC of Mid-Westchester is sending athletes who will participate in boys soccer, girls soccer, boys basketball, girls basketball, baseball, golf, in-line hockey, table tennis, track and field, and tennis.

Scarsdale’s Harrison Wirth and Jacob Stein have traveled to Houston to play baseball on the 16U JCC Mid-Westchester Maccabi team. They will both be sophomores at Scarsdale High School in September and play baseball on the school team. At the games, Harrison is playing shortstop and Jacob is one of the pitchers. So far, the team has had three wins and two losses and will move on to the semi-finals on Thursday, August 9. According to the boys, the weather has been very, very hot, and the competition has been “mostly good.”

And what about the experience of participating in this international event? Harrison says he has met kids from all over the world, including Israel, Mexico, Panama and Canada. Jacob says, “It's a fun experience because you get to meet new people and play baseball."  Also, both boys think the team uniforms are “really nice.”

The boys are living with host family Henry and Tracy Jakob of Sugarland, Texas who took them to an Astro’s game. The food is not very different from what they eat at home as the Maccabi Games is serving the athletes kosher fare.

The JCC Maccabi Games can be called the Olympics for Jewish teens, but they serve a larger purpose than athletic competition. The Games also promote community involvement, teamwork, and pride in being Jewish. For example, athletes visiting host communities stay with local Jewish families. This "home hospitality" is vital to the experience, representing the extended Jewish family and the value of welcoming the stranger.

Also, every set of Games has a volunteer program called JCC Cares, where teens join with local community organizations to work on social-action projects. Past activities have included building homes for the poor, holding carnivals for handicapped children, cleaning parks, and packaging food to be given to the hungry. The purpose is to teach tikkun olam (repairing the world) by example, so that these young people incorporate these values into their daily lives once they return home.

For more information about the JCC Maccabi Games, contact Steven Weisbrot, 472-3300, x 362, This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . For more information about the JCC of Mid-Westchester and details on all its offerings, visit www.jccmw.org.

 

Play Ball

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baseballTwo years ago, the Scarsdale Little League summer program ran just one team for children twelve-years-old and under. Since then, the summer league has been greatly expanded and improved, as part of a large renovation of the entire Scarsdale Little League program. The Scarsdale Little League now offers four teams for eight, nine, ten and twelve-year-olds and two travel teams during the summer season.

This summer, for the second year in a row, Scarsdale Little League sent two teams to the Little League International Tournament. In this tournament, the two Scarsdale teams, one for nine and ten-year-olds, the other for eleven and twelve-year-olds, played other Westchester teams in their age groups. The team which won the tournament advanced to the Little League World Series. Although they didn’t win the tournament, the eleven and twelve-year-old team did much better than last year, when it lost two games and won none. This year the team won three games and lost two, and beat competitive teams such as Harrison and White Plains.

However, the summer program isn’t all that’s being changed. The spring league has gone through some major changes as well. LittleLeagueLogo_The Atlantic/Pacific League has been moved from including 4th and 5th graders to including 5th and 6th graders. New spring travel teams have been created as well. In addition, the Scarsdale Little League has a new website and for the first year, local businesses have begun to sponsor the Little League. To learn more, visit, http://www.scarsdalelittleleague.com/

 

 

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